Eight Reasons Why Canada Isn’t Boring

01.28.09 | 9:21 AM ET

It’s time for me to acknowledge a painful truth: many people think that my country is boring.

A 2007 study showed that most young Americans view Canada as an “average” or “boring” place to visit, and this past summer, even an official from the Canadian Tourism Commission found herself describing Canada’s “vanilla pudding” reputation. Canada is seen as being “safe and nice,” she told Forbes Traveler, “like the girl next door—not the hot chick you’d want to go on vacation with.”

Well, setting aside my natural Canuck modesty, I’m here to tell you that Canada is that hot chick.

And that’s not just because of our sophisticated cities, United Nations-esque ethnic food offerings, important cultural contributions and friendly people. It’s also because Canada is home to some of the wildest, emptiest and most exciting wilderness areas in the world—meaning endless opportunities for the trip of a lifetime.

Not convinced yet? Read on.

1) We can road trip to the Arctic Ocean.

Stretching from Dawson City, Yukon, to Inuvik, Northwest Territories, the Dempster Highway is legendary—the first Canadian road to cross the Arctic Circle. If you’re a believer in bucket lists, then driving the Dempster should be on yours.

The road follows an old dog sled trail through the tundra for 475 miles, and is not to be attempted without a sturdy vehicle, a spare gas can, good weather reports and first-hand knowledge of how to change a flat tire. In winter an ice road extends the Dempster for another 120 miles from Inuvik, deep in the Mackenzie River delta, all the way to Tuktoyaktuk, on the shores of the Arctic Ocean.

2) We’re funny.

I can only assume that Canada has the highest ratio of famous-comedians-to-normal-folk of any nation in the world.

From SCTV greats like John Candy, Martin Short, Rick Moranis and Eugene Levy, to Saturday Night Live heavyweights Dan Ackroyd and Mike Myers—not to mention the SNL overlord himself, Lorne Michaels—Canada has dominated the past four decades of comedy.

Jim Carrey, Leslie Nielsen and Michael J. Fox? All pure-blooded Canucks. The Simpsons’ Phil Hartman? Canadian born. Tom Green is from my own hometown—though he’s not our proudest export. And how about Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill of “Superbad” and “Knocked Up”? They’re Canadian, too. “Arrested Development’s” Michael Cera and Will Arnett? You betcha.

Even British comedy superstar Ricky Gervais has Canadian blood in his veins.

3) Our local food is to die for—at times, literally.

Three heart-stopping reasons to visit Quebec? Easy: poutine, tarte au sucre and tourtiere.  All three are worth every bit of arterial damage they may induce.

The home-grown delicacies aren’t limited to Quebec, either. Outside of la belle province, head to the west coast for Nanaimo bars or way up north for caribou jerky. Feeling brave? Try Newfoundland’s (in)famous seal flipper pie.

4) In the Athabasca Sand Dunes, we redefine backcountry.

Talk about getting away from it all. This geographical aberration in Saskatchewan’s extreme north, protected by a provincial park, is one of the world’s most northerly sand dune areas.

The park takes “backcountry” to a new level. Its website warns:

“There are no communities, permanent residents, services, facilities or roads of any kind within or near the park. Independent visitors must be fully equipped for self-contained wilderness travel, and be aware of the potential hazards as well as their responsibilities in protecting this fragile environment; recommended for experienced wilderness users only.”

Arrival is by float plane. Once there, you’ll rely entirely on your paddle and your own two feet. Even the package tours are for veterans only; as one custom tour operator notes drily: “Whitewater canoeing experience is needed.”

5) We’re ... uh ... highly flexible and slightly demented

How could the country that produced the Cirque du Soleil possibly be dull?

6) We’ve got world-renowned coastline—and we’re protecting it.

Better known as the Queen Charlotte Islands, British Columbia’s Haida Gwaii (“Islands of the People”) form part of the legendary Inside Passage between B.C. and the Alaskan panhandle.

A large swath of the area is jointly protected by the Canadian government and the Council of the Haida Nation. The resulting Gwaii Haanas National Park Reserve and Haida Heritage Site is both a paddler’s paradise and an important landmark in governmental-Aboriginal cooperation.

In addition to offering some of the best sea kayaking in the world, the area is also home to the Haida Heritage Centre, where you can catch a musical performance, watch canoe carvers at work and browse exhibits showcasing all aspects of the Haida way of life.

7) Don Cherry!

A night at a hockey game is an essential—and colorful—Canadian experience. But nearly as exciting as the game itself is one of its most iconic, and controversial, figures: Mr. Donald S. Cherry.

Known for loud suits and even louder rants, onetime NHL coach-turned-commentator Don Cherry holds court every Saturday night in the “Coach’s Corner” on CBC. Here’s some vintage Cherry, with his ever-tolerant sidekick Ron MacLean:

8) We’ve got a national park where the polar bears outnumber the people.

Ah, Ellesmere Island, home to 168 brave souls—most of whom live in Alert and Eureka, the two most northerly human settlements in the world.

A cool 3,000 miles north of New York City, Ellesmere is also home to one of the most isolated state parks in the world. Quttinirpaaq National Park is accessible by charter flight from Resolute Bay; from there, backcountry campsites are reachable by foot, cross-country skis or dog-sled.

This is serious Trip-of-a-Lifetime territory. The risks—from resident polar bears to a changeable and extreme climate—are significant. The cost to reach the park and hire a guide or tour outfitter (which you’ll need unless you really were the best Scout in your troop) is high. But the rewards are enormous.

Hiking a glacier hundreds of miles from the nearest city, or crossing a stretch of sea ice by dog sled, and then camping under the midnight sun?

Sounds anything but boring to me.

 

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