And Who Writes the World’s Worst Descriptive Sentences?
Travel Blog • Michael Yessis • 08.18.08 | 4:53 PM ET
From great descriptive writing to writing that’s so bad it’s great. The winners of the annual Bulwer-Lytton contest, which asks writers to compose “bad opening sentences to imaginary novels,” were announced last week. I love this year’s top entry for its evocation of New York City.
Garrison Spik wrote:
Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped “Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.”
The adventure-writing winner also cracked me up. Shannon Wedge wrote:
Leopold looked up at the arrow piercing the skin of the dirigible with a sort of wondrous dismay—the wheezy shriek was just the sort of sound he always imagined a baby moose being beaten with a pair of accordions might make.
Another travel-ish favorite, the dishonorable mention winner for purple prose. Jim Thomas wrote:
The pancake batter looked almost perfect, like the morning sun shining on the cream-colored bare shoulder of a gorgeous young blonde driving 30 miles over the speed limit down a rural Nebraska highway with the rental car’s sunroof open, except it had a few lumps.