Celebrity Travel Watch: President Bush in Cancun*

I know what you’re thinking: Yawn! President Bush is no celebrity, and this is not the Real Cancun! Has Theodore Fez lost his marbles? The answer is…no way! I’m a fashion hound, and what I saw in the press photos from the big honchos’ Cancun meeting today made me feel both shock and awe!

First, the awe. As much as I hate to do it, I have to give a shout out to President Bush for his surprisingly tasteful ensemble. Visiting the Mayan ruins of Chichen Itza, Bush selected simple khakis and a tasteful button-down Aloha-style short-sleeve shirt, which he wore as it should be worn, untucked—are you taking notes, guys? Perfect for the oh-so-sizzzzzzzling Mexican sun! If only your foreign policy were so carefully and elegantly designed, Mr. President!

Now, the shock. You know Theodore Fez doesn’t hold back: What was the PM of Canada thinking? What’s with the safari-photographer-fly-fishing vest? Pleaaaase! Mr. Harper, you’re not Indian Jones, and this is not the Heart of Darkness. You’re on the Mexican Riviera, for God’s sake. Have a margarita, a little guacamole. Chill. You’ve been spending way too much time reading Field & Stream. Next time, think GQ. Streamline!

As for President Fox: magnificent. Truly foxy.

* Update: Bush told reporters he would not be wearing a Speedo in Cancun. For the record, Mr. President, there’s nothing wrong with wearing a Speedo now and again. That’s how they do it on the continent. I do Cannes, not Cancun, and I always pack my Speedo. That’s how Theodore Fez rolls!

—Theodore Fez, who edits World Hum’s Celebrity Travel Watch, is an elusive, shadowy figure who files occasional reports. His whereabouts are unknown.

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