Love in Bangladesh: Wooed by a Policewoman

Most of the women in Bangladesh, a socially-conservative country with an 80 percent Muslim population, only stared at Evan Ratliff during his three weeks there. Shilpa was different. “Shilpa was the first and only Bangladeshi woman who ever flirted with me,” writes Evan Ratliff in a terrific Modern Love piece in the Sunday Styles section of the New York Times. Shilpa, a policewoman working during a general strike, asks for his phone number, beginning a series of calls and semi-secret meetings that Ratliff describes in heartbreaking detail.

We said pretend goodbyes, and I caught a taxi to the overpass, waiting until she arrived by rickshaw. She beamed at her plan’s success. We were alone at last. Another taxi ride took us to a small amusement park, where I bought us some chocolate ice cream bars. We watched the kids and took turns translating the objects around us, laughing. She scribbled something in my notebook.

Soon it was time for her to get back, and we got up to leave. On the way out I convinced her to have our picture taken. Handing my camera to a passerby, we stood together, smiling. But when I tried to put my arm around her, she shrieked and leapt away. I realized that in all of our meetings, we had never actually touched, not even a handshake. Our mysterious passion cut an innocent path through the thickets of miscommunication.

The piece is also available as a podcast.

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