The Intersection of Love and Travel

Travel Blog  •  Jim Benning  •  02.14.07 | 2:13 PM ET

imageI was pretty sure my wife was the one for me long before I popped the question. But it was our five-month trip to Asia that helped seal the deal in my mind. Several months into the journey, we were having lunch at a little restaurant in Yangshuo, China, chatting about everything and nothing, when I realized that I not only didn’t want to flee into a rice field to get away from her, but I was as smitten as I was on our first date. Shortly after we returned home, we were engaged. Of course, travel doesn’t always bring out the best in relationships. As Rolf Potts writes in his latest Yahoo! column, just in time for Valentine’s Day: “Few things test a romance like traveling together. In packing your bags and hitting the road with your lover, you aren’t just leaving home — you’re leaving behind the habits, routines, and comfort zones that keep that relationship on neutral ground.”

He continues:

Sometimes, the shared novelties of a new adventure can result in a closer romantic bond (and I have several sets of friends who decided to get married after completing a long-term journey together). At other times, being together full-time on the road can reveal just how mismatched you are with a person you thought you knew intimately. And, as sad as that might sound, it’s actually a very useful process: Travel makes it easier to identify and confront incompatibilities that might take years to surface at home.

Potts offers 10 questions to consider when taking your relationship on the road. Among them:

Are you willing to compromise on destinations, expenses, and other joint decisions?  How will each of you react to a sudden change in plans? Are you both willing to be spontaneous, or is one person more comfortable with schedules?  Is the notion of unexpected events a source of exhilaration or discord for your partnership?

And:

How will you manage your time in a new place?  Will you try and pack in a lot of activities, or be open to taking things as they come? Will you stay out late?  Wake up early?  Do you have differing ideas of “time well-spent?”

As Potts puts it, “[T]ravel has a way of putting relationships in a new light.”

Photo by B.D.‘s world, via flickr. (License: Creative Commons.)