Would You Like an Upgrade to First Class, Viscountess?

Travel Blog  •  Michael Yessis  •  04.10.06 | 6:05 AM ET

imageDavid Owen has a funny Talk of the Town item in the latest New Yorker highlighting all the honorifics Emirates Airlines offers to members of its frequent-flier program, Skywards. The list starts with Mr., Ms. and Mrs. and seems to include just about every title known to man. Al-Haj. Archdeacon. Dame. Swami. Vice Admiral. Viscountess. It goes on. Owen writes: “Anyone who chooses King obviously goes in first class, Private in economy, Wing Cmdr in an exit row. But what about Cardinal? Does he belong in first class (by virtue of his position in the ecclesiastical hierarchy), economy (for doctrinal seemliness), or business (a possible compromise)? Are Prince and Princess the business-class versions of The Prince and The Princess, or do all royals automatically belong in first? If you accumulate enough miles for a cabin upgrade, do you get a title upgrade, too? And if you’re just a Representative (or a Member of Parliament), rather than a Senator (or a Lord), what are you supposed to do? Fly Delta?”