Zen and the Art of Strolling Past Bob Dole While Boarding a Plane

Travel Blog • Jim Benning • 10.09.07 | 1:47 PM ET

I was boarding a flight from San Diego to Washington D.C. last week when I looked up to see former U.S. senator, presidential candidate and erectile dysfunction medication pitchman Bob Dole. He was seated in the last row of first class, rosy-cheeked, with a crisp button-down shirt, watching the hoi polloi shuffle past. He had a vaguely self-satisfied grin on his face that seemed to say, Hey, I may be a fiscal conservative, but I’m willing to cough up something extra for comfort, and boy am I going to be more comfortable than you, with your “complimentary beverage service” and $5 “snack boxes,” during the next five hours.

I didn’t begrudge him his seat. Still, I wasn’t quite sure of my social responsibilities. He had an aisle seat, and most of my fellow economy-class passengers were eager to greet the former senator as they walked past, to wish him a wonderful flight, to inquire as to his general well being. He seemed to be an amiable sort, happy to chit chat. After a moment observing this, though, it seemed to me that he was practically holding court, or presiding over a receiving line, in the front of the plane.

When his brief conversation with the guy in front of me ended, he looked my way, almost as if awaiting my greeting.

I wasn’t sure how to respond. A number of potential questions ran through my head.

I recalled that he used to refer to himself awkwardly in the third person, spoofed on “The Simpsons” with lines like, “Bob Dole just likes to hear Bob Dole talk about Bob Dole.” I considered asking, lamely, So how is Bob Dole doing today?

I considered my role as a travel editor and wondered—again, lamely—whether there was some brief bit of wisdom I should be asking about: Does Bob Dole have any travel tips? Has Bob Dole tried Viagra for jet lag?

In the end—this took all of five seconds—I realized I didn’t have anything I needed or wanted to say to Bob Dole. I just wanted to take my seat. I bristled at the fawning of my fellow passengers. And at that point, I couldn’t even muster a hello. I nodded politely to acknowledge his gaze and walked past to the back of the plane.

But it got me thinking: Surely, I’m not the only one to have found himself in the midst of a celebrity love-fest while boarding a plane. What is the proper etiquette here?

Photo: AP.