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THE LIST9.20.07
Nine Great Ways to Get Thrown Off an AirplaneThere are many ways to get booted off an airplane, but some are bolder, more idiotic or more absurd than others. Jim Benning offers “successes” from recent history.
9) Repeat “bye-bye, plane.” What a lovely travel-themed mantra. Yet after a child wouldn’t stop repeating the phrase on a Continental ExpressJet flight as a crew member recited safety precautions, the nonplussed attendant suggested baby Benadryl for the toddler. “I’m not going to drug my child,” mom replied. The plane returned to the gate and the airline crew said bye-bye to the mother and child. 8) Pray. It’s an absurd reason to be kicked off a flight, but doing so got a Muslim doctor from Winnipeg thrown off a United Airlines flight last year, and an Orthodox Jewish passenger tossed off a Canadian Air Jazz flight. And who doesn’t remember the imams removed from a US Airways flight after praying in an airport terminal? 7) Breast-feed your baby. Bonus points if you’re kicked off a Delta flight operated by none other than Freedom Airlines. When the incident occurred, Emily Gillette was in a window seat in the second-to-last row, she told USA Today, and her husband was seated in the aisle. “I was not exposed,” she said. Still, a flight attendant asked her to cover up. When Gillette refused, she was removed. News of the incident prompted a nurse-in at airports across the country. A spokeswoman for Delta said later that the flight attendant had been—we’re paraphrasing here—a real boob. 6) Stow an economy-class hair dryer in a first-class bulkhead. That’s what kicked off a confrontation that led a United Airlines crew to eject TV star Mo’Nique and company from a flight last year. The actress was seated in first class; her stylist was seated in economy class, and when the stylist stashed a hair dryer in the first-class bulkhead, a flight attendant apparently complained and tensions escalated. “I felt like I was being treated like an animal,” Mo’Nique told the Daily News. “This happens to black people all the time, and they don’t have a voice. I have a voice.” A United agent later expressed regret over the incident and Mo’Nique and company were placed on another flight. Still, there’s a lesson here for the rest of us: Always book your stylist a first-class seat. 5) Wear your favorite “Meet the Fockers” T-shirt. Lorrie Heasley’s “Meet the Fockers” shirt—actually, the spelling varied slightly from the 2004 movie title—featured images of President George W. Bush, Condoleezza RIce and Dick Cheney. She wore the shirt as a joke to amuse her Democrat parents, who were going to meet her at Portland, Oregon’s airport. Passengers aboard the Southwest Airlines flight departing from Reno weren’t laughing. Note for anyone hoping to follow in her footsteps: According to Heasley, nobody complained about the shirt at LAX, so pick your departing city carefully. 4) Don a short skirt. Technically, Hooters waitress and college student Kyla Ebbert wasn’t thrown off the Southwest Airlines flight this summer. But anyone whose airplane incident earns her a spot on The Dr. Phil Show deserves a coveted place on this list. Ebbert was escorted off the flight earlier this summer and lectured about her wardrobe before being allowed to return to the plane. The incident, she said, was humiliating. 3) Be a princess—literally and figuratively. Three princesses from the Qatar royal family were booted off a British Airways flight earlier this year after they refused to sit next to male passengers they didn’t know. Doing so apparently violates their customs. The flight crew tried to shuffle seating assignments to accommodate their complaints but other passengers refused to move. The flight was delayed more than two hours before the captain ordered the princesses off the plane. 2) Try to get some fresh air—at 30,000 feet. In 2005, a French woman on a Cathay Pacific flight tried to open an airplane door to smoke a cigarette. (Okay, so it wasn’t exactly fresh air she was after.) She admitted later that she’d taken a sleeping pill and downed alcohol before the flight. 1) Damage the crockery. Oh, with thine airline crockery be gentle, celebrity travelers. R.E.M. guitarist Pete Buck famously learned this the hard way. In 2001, he was arrested after witnesses said he went into a drunken rampage aboard a British Airways flight and, among other things, sprayed the cabin crew with yogurt and toppled a cart loaded with breakfast crockery. (Talk about the passion!) Buck later blamed his behavior on the reaction between a sleeping pill he’d taken and alcohol. At least he didn’t try to open an airplane door, right? Uh, wrong. According to the Guardian, at one point during the flight “he tried to grab the control panel of an exit door and announced that he was ‘going home.’” Bono and other musicans later testified to Buck’s good character and a jury cleared him of all charges.
Jim Benning is the co-editor of World Hum.
Related on World Hum:
COMMENTSOn the subject of prayer and airplanes, I was quite interested to discover that in addition to smoking lounges, the new Suvarnabhumi airport in Bangkok has a muslim prayer room. Could this also be coming to airport terminals elsewhere? By on 9.20.07 at 11:11 AM
re: Breast feeding, Mothers just cover up it is polite. The quarters are close and it can be distracting to some. The point is to feed the child not educate and change others. By on 9.20.07 at 02:51 PM
Hey Ben, I’m pretty sure that Heathrow and some other UK airports already have prayer rooms? I don’t know that they’re specifically called Muslim prayer rooms, more likely generic spiritual/prayer space of some sort. Delta is lucky they didn’t try to turf the breastfeeding mom on an Ontario-bound flight - it’s a violation of the Human Rights Code here… By Eva Holland on 9.21.07 at 04:43 AM
A couple years ago out of Detroit there was an african american who wore a belt with live bullets in it. He made a disturbance and was escorted off then someone came to his deffence and made a speach of the plite of the black man and was booted off as well. By on 9.21.07 at 10:35 AM
2) Try to get some fresh air—at 30,000 feet. In 2005, a French woman on a Cathay Pacific flight tried to open an airplane door to smoke a cigarette. (Okay, so it wasn’t exactly fresh air she was after.) She admitted later that she’d taken a sleeping pill and downed alcohol before the flight. Aaaagh!! The very thought freaks me out. It’s my worst nightmare. By Colin Maddocks on 9.25.07 at 09:27 AM
The cabin door of a comercial jet aircraft can not be opened at altitude.
By on 9.25.07 at 06:47 PM
Thanks Carl, That’s very reassuring to know. I’ve flown several times where there have been young kids next to doors, or standing next to them whilst in flight. At least I know now that its’ impossible for them to accidently lean on the handle! Sounds daft but if your not a great flyer these things do go through your mind. By Colin Maddocks on 9.26.07 at 12:24 AM
If a mother is taking an infant on a flight she has a lot more to worry about than the extra blanket to not “distract” others into realizing the many realities of motherhood and gasp, being human. Unless you were born in the 80’s (when doctors advocated formula) just about everyone on that plan has had breast milk. Why do Americans have to be so squeamish? By on 10.1.07 at 10:32 PM
Squeamish isn’t the word that fits my reasons or feelings. It sounds like Motherhood has you bogged down and stressed. You helped make one of my points. Why drag others into your misery? Thats what you just expressed. You are miserable and thats not normal for most Mothers. You went from breast feeding in public to a Mothers woes and responsibilities. If you are miserable and resentful with your Motherhood experience and responsibilities then it is quite possible that you need some help. There is no shame in that. There are professionals, support groups and husbands to help you. Don’t blame the world. I simple stated that on the plane and in public period consider others. Oh. my Mother breast feed my siblings. However, I had to be put on formula. I rejected the experience. Something about my Mothers physio changing after so many years. My Mother who has passed away said she used bottles away from home and in public. Same milk! So, what’s up with the need for public exhibition? Well, it could be laziness. Get some finesse ladies. God bless you and cheer up sister. luv ya. By on 10.2.07 at 12:32 AM
Hello again,
By on 10.3.07 at 03:11 AM
Wow! This has been a real eye opener for me. Here I thought it was us guys that did all the talking about breasts. America is really hung up on this public nudity thing. Now, breast feeding has become a sexual taboo? Here I thought it had something to do with nurturing. Some babies will tolerate a blanket over their head and some will not. By on 10.10.07 at 08:15 PM
Everyone should pray on the plane like everybody else does, right before the plane takes off in you seat in silence with eyes closed. I have seen it and felt it last time I flew. By on 10.17.07 at 03:10 PM
I agree with hugh. my baby will not tolerate blankets over her head. If a breastfeeding mother wants to get out in the world and has trouble expressing milk by pumping (because of the cost of an expensive pump and trouble with cheap pumps, like me), she will be breastfeeding in many places… is an airplane different, or do you expect breastfeeding mothers to use bottles everywhere but home? If you are a stay at home mom it often is too much money to buy an expensive pump so that you can accomodate the strangers in airplanes and other places. By on 11.25.07 at 11:54 AM
Ok, so this really scared me. I never traveled by plain before and I was really curious is something like this happened and it did! But it’s the safest way of traveling, so I’m gonna be ok with it. By drug rehab in california on 4.21.08 at 05:21 AM
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