My Next Travel Book
Tom Swick: Contemplating and celebrating the world of travel
10.12.09 | 10:53 AM ET
iStockPhotoI’m not yet sure where I’m going, but I know what I’m going to do when I get there: I’m going to investigate some ancient conspiracy. Travel books need to keep up with the times, if they’re ever going to regain their popularity, and just traveling to a place for the pleasure of seeing the sights and telling others about them isn’t going to cut it anymore. So I’m going to find some mysterious sect or secret society and use my travel writer skills to penetrate its inner sanctum and bring its story to the largest number of readers imaginable.
I’m also dropping my interest in people. Sure, they’ve long been seen as an essential element to any good travel book; Paul Theroux would not be where he is today without them. But the world has changed, at least the world of entertainment, and I’ve decided that if I really want to make an impact I need to forget about people and start meeting vampires. It shouldn’t be difficult; vampires are all over the place these days: in novels, on television, in movies—everywhere but in travel books. Which shows you how far off the mark travel writers—whose job it is to root out the essence of a place—have been of late.
Of course, travel books are incredibly hard sells, and vampires may not be enough. I may in addition have to meet zombies.
This book is going to talk a lot about food. When not chatting up vampires or bonding with zombies or slinking though dusty basement archives, I am going to be stuffing myself. And then writing of my meals in loving detail. This will be a travel book with recipes.
The trip I take to write this book is going to help me overcome an addiction, a malady, or some kind of abuse. For years I’ve suffered abuse from editors and publishers, but that may not be universal enough. What about this: the beautiful, heart-wrenching, inspirational story of how one man overcame his agoraphobia and became a travel writer? It’s a bit of a stretch, though I was the last kid on my block to learn to ride a bike. Great travel books illuminate the world, but they are historically weak in the self-help department. (And you wonder why they rarely land on the bestseller list.)
Speaking of which, halfway through the book at least one major character will be found dead. That, I guarantee. People love reading about corpses, and they rarely find them in sunny travelogues.
Clearly, this will be a revolutionary travel book. It will be the account of a life-changing journey, but instead of boring readers with descriptions of landscapes and encounters with locals and insights into other cultures, it will beguile them with mystery, horror, confession, the occult and cooking. It will lift up the travel book and place it firmly in the 21st century.
And I already have a title for it: “Traveling Rogue.”
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Tom Swick is the author of two books: a travel memoir, Unquiet Days: At Home in Poland, and a collection of travel stories, A Way to See the World: From Texas to Transylvania with a Maverick Traveler. He was the travel editor of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel for 19 years, and his work has been included in "The Best American Travel Writing" 2001, 2002, 2004 and 2008.
Lindsey 10.12.09 | 11:39 AM ET
That was wanderlustly humorous! Keep up the good thoughts and Good Luck with that book!
lynn braz 10.12.09 | 11:49 AM ET
I think you should include an insipid romance between yourself and a vampire or a zombie. Or both. And please make sure your language remains comprehensible for readers on a 3rd grade level. Surprising and imaginative sentence structures are so tedious. I, for one, am thankful that your next book won’t bore readers with sensory-driven descriptions of landscapes and illuminating encounters with locals in far-flung cultures. Unless those locals are vampires or zombies. Tom, thank you for an entertaining read that nails the literary tastes of the average American. So sad, but in your piece, hilarious.
Antonia Malchik 10.12.09 | 1:45 PM ET
Tom, you need a 17-year-old girl. Teenage hormones play a big part with all these zombies and vampires. I know it’s hard, but if you want success you might consider adopting one (girl, not vampire), and watching her go through the angst of teenage heartache, for research
Liza Smith 10.12.09 | 2:40 PM ET
How about compiling a travel book of famous horror movie sights? Include The House of Wax and visit Madame Tussaud’s, use The Amityville Horror, The Ruins…...................................
I promise this book will sell!
O yeah, remember to visit Dracula Castle too since vampires are making such a comeback ;-)
Grizzly Bear Mom 10.12.09 | 3:53 PM ET
Somehow the 1930’s Bella Lugosi Dracula movies were best because he seduced his victims. Without seduction, the whole idea lacks something. Dating the vampire? About as exciting as attending the prom with your cousin.
However, as I mature I like Zombies realize that there is a profound lack of brains on the planet. Perhaps you can do a story on that.
Or a story of the lack of conscience or courage, and its possessors-Tutu and Mandala come to mind.
Angela K. Nickerson 10.12.09 | 7:10 PM ET
You are only missing two things:
1. a fabulous wardrobe (think product placement!)
2. a dog—everyone loves a good dog/zombie/travel story
Otherwise, I know it is headed for the NYT bestseller list!
tom swick 10.12.09 | 7:48 PM ET
Angela, you’re right. I shall travel with a beagle, and he will help me overcome my fear of dogs.
Vera Marie Badertscher 10.12.09 | 9:20 PM ET
And you left out the most important ingredient—book clubs must love your book. Therefore it must be brief, sound like something serious and be approved by Oprah.
Emme 10.13.09 | 9:47 PM ET
The Serpent and The Rainbow did precisely this…
Web designer 10.14.09 | 6:00 AM ET
I honestly love this website. Your posts help to remind me why I love traveling on vacation so much. You seem to really love your site.I love keeping up with the latest travel tips online. Keep up the great work.
Kelsey 10.14.09 | 3:34 PM ET
Just as long as the character you kill off isn’t you. Of course, if you get turned into a vampire, technically, you could kill yourself off and write about it as a member of the undead. Don’t come back as a zombie, though. Those bastards can’t write for crap!
Loved this! Thanks!
Robert Downes 10.20.09 | 5:07 PM ET
Tom,
A funny article, but I would submit that travel books are “incredibly hard sells” these days because they lack bold ideas—especially dangerous ideas along the lines of “On the Road” that made that “travel” book so compelling.
My book, “Planet Backpacker,” takes a swipe at both anti-Americanism abroad and what I perceive as either cowardice or sheer lack of curiosity by Americans when it comes to traveling in the Third World. It has ideas about America’s place in the world during the Bush administration as well as thoughts on modern-day adventure that elevate it beyond a “travel” book. Not to mention some funny stuff.
Check it out at http://www.planetbackpacker.net - You’re a great writer and I’d be happy to send you a copy for review on worldhum.
Sydney 10.24.09 | 3:12 AM ET
You’ve hit at exactly what makes me despair of my generation! I really enjoyed reading this, you had me fooled for the first few lines. The secret society idea is clear best-seller material. Perhaps you could time it so that it’s publishing could coincide with the next Dan Brown novel?
Thank you for the amusing read!