Like Writing on Water

Travel Stories: In western Uganda, Christopher Vourlias met Colin, a farmer and poet who questioned the purpose of life while happily revealing the meaning of nohandika ha maiise.

“Deception,” he said.

I saw a spider
perched high up on the ceiling in its web.
It looked down
and saw
flies, on a clear blue surface,
and it said to itself,
“I will let myself down on my thin silky thread
and have a meal.”
And it did.
And it sunk!
For the flies were floating dead
on the surface of water in a blue basin.

Colin continued to the end, sat back, awkward, smiling, lapping up my praise. Gathering confidence, he read another, and then two more. On the table were dozens of poems written in his small, neat hand. He explained he was also working on a handful of stories—even a play—and it dawned on me that Colin Kisembo was, without question, the most prolific writer I knew. But when we talked about publishing his work, he wagged his hands with disapproval. Though a friend in Kampala helped to publish a literary journal, and Colin often thought about submitting his own poems, he still hadn’t worked up the nerve.

“I am afraid,” he said. “What if I am rejected?”

Rejection, I offered, is part of the writing process. In all my years of writing, rejection had been one of the few constants. And while you never get used to those dismal letters and emails—or the attendant feelings of self-doubt—you learn to negotiate them as part of the landscape.

“It will be an act of great courage,” he said, eager to change the subject.

He opened the mango juice and passed a muffin to me and asked about my travels. We talked about my long odyssey since leaving home almost two years ago. He smiled and sighed and shook his head as I described Barcelona and Beirut, London and Damascus. Then he told me about his own journey five years ago, when he quit his job as a lawyer in Kampala to travel through Africa. He went south, through Rwanda and Tanzania, making it as far as Malawi. Soon he was low on money. He grew lonely.

“It is all the same, wherever you go,” he said.

Returning to Uganda, he came west to look after his father’s farm. Life here was hard. Money was scarce; often, he had to ask his sister and an elder brother for help. The neighbors were guarded, suspicious.

“They see this house, and they think we must have so much money,” he said. Even years later, he had few people he could trust. He was bothered to see friends and neighbors hobbled by bitterness and petty grudges.

“We have a saying: nohandika ha maiise,” he said, tapping each syllable on the tabletop. “It means ‘like writing on water.’” He laughed at this, amused and resigned. “You cannot change how people are.”

Outside he showed me around the farm. It was a small plot of land; in just a few minutes we’d crossed through the brown stalks of maize, pausing to stop in the shade of a flowering tree. It was a sunny afternoon, and the heat rose from the dry grass crunching beneath our feet.

“I live alone, and it makes me sad and lonely sometimes,” Colin said, shaking his head. There weren’t many guests, and when he alluded to a few fleeting romances through the years, his voice trailed off. We paused beside a small clearing paved over with concrete, where he gestured to three graves lying side by side. The names of his mother and his father and his father’s father were chiseled into gray tombstones. He stopped briefly and then stepped across the lawn, his strides short and brisk, as if the balm for his loss might be waiting somewhere across the yard. We came to his cows, thin and skittish, nuzzling against each other in the shade. He took a few light-hearted stabs at their meagerness.

“I’m sure you’re used to udders that sweep the floor when the cows walk,” he suggested, though I had to admit that, as a New Yorker, I was not really used to udders at all. He patted a few of the cows with tenderness.

“I watch them feed, I just ...” His voice trailed off, and his eyes grew misty. He frowned. “I feel so ... I don’t know what it is,” he said, resting a hand on his chest. We watched the cows rubbing flanks by the trough, nudging each other out of the way, then scampering off to relieve themselves against a shed. Colin smiled, sighed, shook his head. And then again, turning, leaning forward, he marched back toward the house.

Inside, Colin fidgeted with the antenna on his radio. Sitting at the table each night, with the cows huddled together in their pen and the light from the paraffin lamp casting shadows on the walls, he tunes in to the BBC to hear the news from abroad. Sometimes he opens a Bible, scanning well-remembered verses for hope and consolation. Christianity, like writing, had offered a kind of companionship for him, and he was curious about my own beliefs. He asked about my soul, about salvation and the afterlife. In the story he’d begun to read to me earlier, the main character, Lazaro, was inspired by the biblical Lazarus. Did I believe my own soul would play Lazarus and rise from the grave? Scientists, he pointed out, had found that the body loses 21 grams immediately after death. Could those 21 grams be the weight of one soul? Could any of us be saved?

He adjusted his glasses and looked across the room, where the half-filled cupboards and dusty bookshelves suggested a life still waiting for fulfillment. It was late in the day, and soon we’d have to head back into town. Colin stared out the window. When the silence became unbearable, he leaned forward and folded his hands on the table.

“You have traveled around the world,” he said. “Is there any purpose to this? Or are we just trudging through life, waiting for time to pass?”

The wind shook the banana plants outside, rustling the leaves.

I wasn’t sure what to say, and soon Colin, slightly embarrassed, wagged his hands and got up from the table. We waited on the porch, insects humming over the grass, sunlight falling through the trees. Then an engine puttered up the walkway.

On the back of the motorbike, with the sun dipping toward the horizon, everything was drenched, golden. The wind roared in our ears and we shouted to make ourselves heard over the noise. It was a beautiful ride. I held tightly to Colin’s waist, afraid for every bump and jolt in the road, and thought about our conversation. Nohandika ha maiise. For Colin, it was a simple life lesson on human stubbornness, on the impossibility of changing our ways. But life itself is like writing on water, each of us scribbling our stories across a tide that will bear no trace of our passing. Maybe there’s no purpose to any of this, maybe the collected heartbreaks, rejections and sorrows are all we get. But we’re still here, passing the time as best we can, and taking comfort in the people we find to share the ride.



Christopher Vourlias is a freelance writer based out of Johannesburg.


10 Comments for Like Writing on Water

Terry Ward 08.06.08 | 8:24 PM ET

I love this piece, Chris. I felt like I was there with you, hanging with Colin. The writing on water analogy will stay with me for a long time. Love it.

Andrey 08.13.08 | 4:17 AM ET

What do you maen under @nohandika ha maiise”

megan 08.15.08 | 7:02 AM ET

gorgeous article. This is one of the things I love most about travel - the people we meet along the way and the stories they have to share.

Leigh 08.16.08 | 11:43 PM ET

What a beautiful and poignant story. Thank you.

ewa 08.20.08 | 5:01 PM ET

Chris, that was great, moving to say the least

Tim Patterson 08.24.08 | 12:11 AM ET

Lovely story, skillfully told.  Well done, Chris!

sugo 08.27.08 | 2:46 AM ET

This story is not very impressive but the writing style is great.

Sasha 08.30.08 | 8:20 PM ET

You have a beautiful writing style Chris. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

I would like to think that you’re wrong though. I would like to think that there is a purpose, and that we do leave an impression that is not simply washed away.

lisa 09.05.08 | 7:37 PM ET

Beautifully written piece. Love the analogy.

Torah 10.04.08 | 6:16 PM ET

Wow, the vocabulary and skill implemented in this story is baffling. I wish I had half the adeptness that Chris has.

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