Kitsch City, U.S.A.

Hallelujah, Sophia. I’m off on a road trip later this summer and you can bet we’ll come squealing to a halt at anything promising the world largest whatever, the museum of obscure thingies, the historic no one’s heard of but the locals site. I. Am. There.

Oh, giant frying pan, big egg, Jake the alligator boy. All in Washington State. Though my absolute favorite was somewhere in Montana—the THIRD largest head of Abraham Lincoln in the US. The THIRD largest? Huh? What? Okay then!

THIRD largest? I guess you takes your superlatives as you can invent ‘em.

I’m guessing the largest is Mt. Rushmore, the second largest is the Lincoln Memorial, and the third largest is somewhere in Montana.

I feel compelled to point out that this photo was taken in the late 1980s or early 1990s, which explains the horrific mom jeans and white sneakers. A lot of very bad fashion things happened in that era.

The sweater, however, is a vintage Father Knows Best circa-1950s cardigan that I still wear.

I visited the Stonhenge replica west of Kerrville a few months ago. I was surprised how much I liked it.

Love the article!

I used to say US 65 through Branson, but now they built the bypass so you can’t just drive by the “attractions.” But even driving in the vicinity of Branson is still incredibly kitschy anyway, just with the screaming billboards for Shoji, Dolly and her Dixie Stampede, and the must-be-cryogenically-preserved Andy Williams. And every five miles, another billboard for the what-has-to-be-astonishing Precious Moments Chapel…big-eyed cartoon children and all.  (disclosure—that’s in Carthage, not Branson) They don’t call Branson “Vegas with the fun removed” for nothing.

Closer to Dallas, I am still a big fan of the battle scene murals in the Alamo, where the Texan heroes look remarkably like John Wayne, Laurence Harvey, and Richard Widmark.

Oh yeah, Branson! I saw the Shoji show just for the kitsch value, and brought my husband a T-shirt. I haven’t been to the Precious Moments Chapel yet, but I have been to The Angel Museum near Milwaukee, which is a cousin to it.

One of the great long-lost museums in Nashville was the Barbara Mandrell museum, which included a replica of her bedroom, complete with crackers on the bedside table as tribute to her hit “You Can Eat Crackers in My Bed Anytime.”

Oh, and even historians agree that the John Wayne movie, The Alamo, contributed hugely to the reverence in which that historical event is held (a subject I cover in depth in my book, “The Yankee Chick’s Survival Guide to Texas”—if you’ll forgive the small plug for it).

I can heartily recommend the “Land of Little Horses” which is somewhere in Pennsylvania; particularly around feeding time when the little horses express their big resentment of your interfering with their dinner.

Also, the Burt Parks statue in Atlantic City, NJ.  He’s holding out a crown and if you stand beneath it, he sings “Here she is, Miss America….”

Re: Vegas.  Learning from Las Vegas by Robert Ventura et al, should be required reading for anyone who thinks vernacular/commercial architecture has no importance, validity, or impact.

I went to Las Vegas last august alone and I had a ball. I met all kinds of people and as one previous poster said, Vegas is so full of people no one really knows that you are there alone. At night I would go sit in the Indigo lounge at Ballys (thats where i stayed) and people joined me at my table. I even met a couple of people from 2 other states (im in ca) whom i am still in contact with to this day.

If you’re looking for kitchy sites, don’t miss Carhenge near Alliance, Neb. It’s a replica of England’s Stonehenge, made entirely out of junk cars. Wall Drug near the Black Hills of South Dakota is right up there, too.

Dan - Wall Drug is the king of all kitchy tourist traps. And while you’re in Nebraska, you can stop in Kearney to see the world’s longest escalator.

Pigeon Forge, TN (home of Dollywood) has to be really high on the list too. The Cabbage Patch Kid factory in Helen, GA will strike a chord for some people. The world’s largest yard sale that stretches from Alabama to North Carolina may or may not be kitchy, but I’m sure it has some “poor quality” items. One last entry - Old Alabama Town in Montgomery. Sophia and Jenna can even drive down the Hank Williams Memorial Lost Highway to get there!

Ooh, the world’s longest escalator. I KNEW I wanted to go to Nebraska!

I believe Jenna has written about the world’s largest yard sale for American Way magazine. I read it before I even knew her (though I knew her name), and knew I needed to know her.

A cabbage patch kid factory?! This post and thread is a road trip goldmine. Consider it bookmarked.

On a drive through Nova Scotia’s Annapolis Valley, I came across the Oaklawn Farm Zoo, home to the ever-popular “zonkey”—yes, the beast was part zebra, part donkey.

Is it too soon for the Fonz statue in Milwaukee to be placed on the must-see kitsch list? It’s only about a year old.

My favorite patch o’ kitsch is the venerable Madonna Inn on Highway 101 near San Luis Obispo in California. Every room has a bizarre theme decor and you can see each one online:
http://www.madonnainn.com/

My favorites are the Caveman Suite and the incredible Madonna Suite (see the Accomodations page). Don’t miss the Silver Bar. Even the bathrooms are peculiar- I hear the men’s room has a babbling brook urinal with a miniature mill-race.

Ohhh, I must see the Fonz statue. No, not too soon. Exactly on time.

I’m going to side with Hunter S. Thompson on this one: Vegas is where the American Dream died.

Eva - The Cabbage Patch Kids actually pop up out of little cabbage plants in a fake garden. I went there with my grandmom when I was really young. Also, speaking of Nova Scotia, I once drove down to Peggy’s Cove just to take the exact same picture that was on the cover of my guidebook.

Uh…. Taking a picture with the naked cowboy in Times Square? :)

I live and die for kitsch. I’ve got one for all you hard-core Elvis fans (I among them.) Yes, Graceland is a must. But have you heard about Graceland Too? Yes, in Holly Springs, MS…lives a very strange man who lives in a freakish shrine to Elvis. He even named his son Elvis Aaron.

He’s open all hours of the night, you just have to knock on his door and hope he’s there. Words fail me. Maybe this article will help…

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/11097

Wow. I’m learning a lot. Makes me want to jump in my car and head out on the highway. OK, one more from South Dakota: Dinosaur Park in Rapid City. OK, two more, the Corn Palace in Mitchell.

I love Vegas and even with the tough economic situation I don’t mind visiting Vegas and then make a day trip to Grand Canyon.  Currently, I am currently in the midst of kitchen remodeling. As soon as I I finish this project, I am ready to take my big vacation :)