Tosi and Me
Travel Stories: During her summer in Pietermaritzburg, South Africa, Alexis Wolff bought a pet chicken. It purred. It baaked. And when it left her, she discovered something about happiness.
03.03.08 | 3:53 PM ET
Photo by Sam Limmer.When I was 20, studying Zulu for a summer in Pietermaritzburg, South Africa, I was strolling through a street market and decided it might be fun to buy a chicken. I handed the vendor my 18 Rand, less than $3, and in return I received a scrawny animal in a cardboard box. Chickens must not enjoy traveling in boxes, because as I walked home holding the package by its makeshift twine handle, my pet crashed against the insides so violently that the box swayed back and forth, once even falling to the ground. Irritated, I decided to name my chicken Tosiwe, the Zulu word for “fried.” It was only later when I discovered I actually liked Tosiwe a bit that I nicknamed her Tosi. I made a home for her on my front porch, and after my classes I would sit with her on my lap, petting her as she released a series of faint baaks that blurred together into something that sounded to me like a purr.
Owning a chicken delighted me, mostly because it was something I’d never done. After all, that was why I’d ventured to Africa (why I suspect everyone first does): to experience a way of living completely different from anything I knew.
When I’d learned I was staying in a mansion across the street from a horde of fast food restaurants, I was disappointed. I was further disappointed when I attended a supposedly traditional ceremony honoring the Zulu rain goddess and found participants wearing jean jackets and talking on cell phones, and then weeks later when I realized I still hadn’t seen a giraffe, lion or even a single monkey.
My South African life didn’t feel much different from my American one—not until I bought Tosi.
Photo of Tosi by Sam Limmer.Tosi stayed on the porch through the several days when I didn’t realize chickens needed to be fed, through invasions by street cats and large birds, through my weekend trip out of town, and through the appearance of a woman making chicken soup on the sidewalk beyond the fence. But then, the day before I would leave for a week-long home-stay, Tosi wandered off for good.
On the bus ride away from the city, everyone—and especially my Zulu professor—poked fun at my loss.
“Don’t worry,” he assured me. “I’ll assign you the family with the most chickens.”
My professor had been amused by my interest in Tosi all along. Although I bought her hoping to feel more South African, he knew that Zulu people who bought chickens on the street took them home to slaughter for dinner; they didn’t keep them as pets.
Trying to ignore the teasing, I stared out the window. The bus kicked up dust as it climbed toward our rural destination, but through the haze I admired the imposing flattop mountain, its sides speckled with tall pine and plump marula trees as well as modest, trailer-like homes. Accustomed to the flat cornfields of the Midwest, I found the dramatic scenery mesmerizing.
Eventually the bus rolled to a stop in front of a rusty gate, and I followed my professor outside. A squat older couple approached us. They introduced themselves as Mr. and Mrs. Gasa, and as they spoke to my professor in Zulu that was beyond my level of comprehension, I looked behind them to the complex of a dozen weathered, tin-roofed buildings arranged to form a courtyard. Crude farming tools were scattered across the dirt, and goats and chickens wandered around them and then into the buildings around whose corners children were peeking, watching me. I smiled, maybe at the children, or maybe out of happiness to finally be in this place so far from cell phones and fast food restaurants.
That first night for dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Gasa fed me fried chicken. I can only assume that when my professor was speaking to them in Zulu he shared the story of Tosi, because later Mr. Gasa led me outside and pointed to the chickens wandering around the dirt courtyard. He asked if I saw anyone I knew, and when I told him I didn’t, he pointed to my stomach and smiled mischievously.
But it didn’t take long for Tosi to fade from my thoughts. I was busy practicing my Zulu and playing with Mr. and Mrs. Gasa’s grandchildren. I accompanied neighbors to a game park where I finally saw a giraffe, and I even joined a lobolo ceremony, walking in a line of women carrying crates of oranges, sacks of sugar, and other offerings on our heads. Life felt different and exciting, but what I loved perhaps most of all was its simplicity. When we wanted warm water, we heated it over a fire. When we needed eggs, we fetched them from the chicken coop. When we needed vegetables, we picked them from the garden. This was precisely the “Africa” of my imagination—the sort of place I’d been so desperate for back in Pietermaritzburg—and yet, strangely, beneath the exotic languages and dramatic scenery, it wasn’t all that different from where I originally came.
I could have spent summers detassling corn in my rural Midwestern hometown. I could have raised livestock as 4-H projects. But I’d scoffed at such bucolic endeavors then. I was too busy bemoaning my slow-paced existence and daydreaming about places where I assumed things of consequence happened. So why in my quest for something different did I end up happy somewhere so much the same?
Years later, I would think of my stay with the Gasa family when reading about a world religions professor who observed something about his students. Most came to his classes feeling estranged from organized religion. Studying lesser-known faiths gave them a greater appreciation for spirituality in all its forms; after a while, most returned with a new appreciation to the religion in which they had been raised. “To find yourself,” the professor commented, “you sometimes must go to a stranger.”
My last day with the Gasa family, Mr. Gasa appeared at my doorway. Today we’re going to bulala a chicken, he told me, holding a live creature by its neck. I got dressed and joined Mr. Gasa in an empty room. Holding the animal down with his knees, he extended a knife in my direction. I held it over the squirming and screeching animal, my hands trembling, until finally I passed it back. But I stayed and watched as Mr. Gasa sawed the chicken’s neck. Its head fell back like an opened jewelry box, dangling by a thin flap of skin. Blood spouted out in bursts. The chicken convulsed several times and then lay still.
I was at the same time horrified and mesmerized.
Throughout the course of the day the chicken was beheaded, plucked and gutted, its insides sprawled across the floor; the children fought over who would eat its head. Mrs. Gasa cooked the creature that afternoon over a gas burner, and it arrived on a platter that night as my dinner.
Maybe I could have killed and then eaten a chicken back home, but it took being with the Gasa family in this seemingly strange land for the experience to feel exhilarating.
As I ate, I didn’t think of back home, or Pietermeritzberg, or even Tosi. In fact, not a single time that day—that week—did I find myself wishing to be anywhere other than exactly where I was.
Andy 03.03.08 | 5:33 PM ET
Great article. It’s interesting how you took the experience of owning a chicken, something you thought was South African, and familiarized it by keeping the bird as a pet. But only at the end by getting rid of that did you really gain the perspective you were looking for. Loved it.
Qini 03.03.08 | 5:54 PM ET
I particularly like the part about religion—learning about lesser known faiths as a conduit to reconnect with your upbringing. Very interesting. The pic at the top is also great. -Qini
Natasha 03.03.08 | 10:58 PM ET
Wow, I thought that the story would have a happy ending! Maybe, the realization that chickens can be pets that “purr” and less of a product. Blood,guts, & convulsions seem less mesmerizing and sad.
Vickie 03.04.08 | 3:23 PM ET
How stupid can you be…. how, how can you not realize that anything that LIVES need to be fed. You gotta be as dumb as DIRT.
Jon 03.05.08 | 1:23 PM ET
Vickie, I think Alexis’ point was that, while she certainly knew that a chicken needed to eat, she didn’t realize that she had to be the one to provide that sustenance (feeding an animal is different than the animal finding its own food, which is certainly a possibility).
Rob 03.05.08 | 5:42 PM ET
Alexis,
I loved this essay. I thought you might enjoy this article which examines a similar subject from a slightly different angle: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/01/magazine/01cosmopolitan.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq;="The+Case+for+Contamination"&st=nyt&oref=slogin
Enjoy, Rob
Stephanie Greene 03.05.08 | 7:09 PM ET
I hated this story. As an animal lover I’d rather not hear about neglect and how funny it seemed at the time. Whatever the actual point was of this story, I didn’t get it. I don’t want to get it because I don’t see why she even had to add the “pet” chicken into the story. What a wasted of 5 minutes I’ll never get back!
MargoWolf 03.06.08 | 2:00 PM ET
I am surprised this was published for several reasons like the above comments
point out. Alexis seems so naive and her
writing childlike. She has been published in the New York Times and The Best Womens Travel Writing 2008? I want to ask Alexis what makes this essay on South Africa different from the others she had accepted at those respected publications? I nearly feel like Travel Channel is pulling our leg. Terry Ward and her fellow women travelers did a great series together on women travelers which was really informative. This little piece has me wondering why it was chosen at all. Maybe for the distant local. Yet there is so little to connect the reader to the writer. If you have done better, Alexis, please point it out.
Craig 03.06.08 | 7:33 PM ET
MargoWolf, I don’t think your criticism of Alexis’ essay is fair. I agree that the narrator of the piece seams a bit naïve, but she was twenty at the time. Being a little naïve at twenty is hardly a crime. What’s more, living in a foreign country is a very eye opening experience. It allows one to learn a lot about different people and cultures. I think most expats, if they’ve only lived abroad a few months, are shocked to learn how naïve they are. I spent a summer in Ireland a few years ago. I had a job washing dishes with a bunch of Eastern European immigrants. I was the only one working at that job for whom English was not a second language. I can say unequivocally that I was more naïve before that experience than after it. That’s what’s so great about travel: it let’s us see how naïve we really are.
Personally, I really enjoyed this piece. It really captured what it’s like to live in a foreign country and to learn first hand just how big the world is.
MargoWolf 03.06.08 | 10:00 PM ET
Craig, Gee, I really don’t see what Alexis learned because she is not a descriptive writer. She states something and goes on. I lived in Ireland for 125 days in a little tent and sold jewelry and leather work I made and made friends I am returning to see this Spring. I loved being in a new culture. I hope to visit the Latin countries and experience a great deal more. I was hoping to hear from Alexis and maybe read something else she wrote. I stick by what I said because it is an opportunity she had to get her readers to see and feel what she did and I think she did not do that. Notice the women have been most critical of her and the guys most supportive.
MargoWolf 03.06.08 | 10:45 PM ET
Alexis, what is a Lobolo ceremony? Rereading your piece I feel as if the problem was all with the chicken you bought. After that the experience is better defined. The pet chicken throws me off where you are and what you do. That you discovered people were much more
similar than different. Craig should have gone after Stephanie. I hope you will comment.
Eva Holland 03.10.08 | 10:44 PM ET
MargoWolf, lobolo is the Sesotho name for a dowry-like tradition in Southern Africa. I assume the lobolo ceremony is when the exchange is made or agreed upon between the groom’s and bride’s families. If you want to read more of Alexis’ writing, you can click on the link in her bio and see her website. I really enjoyed her essay in the “Modern Love” segment of the Times.
MargoWolf 03.11.08 | 5:26 AM ET
Thanks, Eve, that should be interesting. I
almost wish I had not said anything about this piece because it was not constructive
or clear. Alexis did describe some of her trip and the place she arrived at. World Hum used the chicken as what made her find
life’s similarities but it was later that
happened. But the Lobolo ceremony deserved
an explanation and history.MW
MargoWolf 03.11.08 | 5:42 AM ET
Yes,Eva, the piece from The Times is good. Alexis, your relationship with little Bouchara was a lesson and a coming of age. Very well done. I will read others I find.MW
Miss G 06.18.08 | 12:00 AM ET
I really enjoyed this piece, Alexis, and the ending was most compelling, I thought. Looking forward to reading more.