‘Feng Shui-Inspired’ McDonald’s Opens in California

Hi Mike:

:)

After I finish maniacally chopsticking my fries, I’ll oh so carefully remove the stigma of a ridged putrid pennypickle from the prelapsarian catsup pool atop the mystery meat patty. Don’t worry, the Australians assure us it’s mostly kangaroo, not heart-attack-inducing, cholesterol-heavy cow fleisch.

I feel like committing suicide for risking my life for one last hot apple pie.

But those shakes, come on, man, they were placed there for a reason, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. I promise you I don’t have rubicund cheery-dimpled cheeks and an evil elfish grin, though I’m first in line at a Christmas party to play limbo under the misteltoe. Apocalypso!

Taking feng shui and placement theory to new heights, I dump my tray on the lap of a passing nemesis, and bolt like wild thunder for the wasp-colored taxi getaway vehicle.

I’m afraid I’d rather have a bacon double cheeseburger than a Big Mac. I would say it would be a little kindergarten to insist anybody likes unwashed wilted lettuce on their hamburgés. Although, they are clearly the same company, making competition a moot point, I guess it’s okay to risk toxic shock syndrome for establishments wildly praised by homeless chaps. Arches or Crown, mate.

I guess this is a comment on people who try to hard, like me.

Hi Mike:

I’m reluctant to double-blog, but in contrapuntal response to my message above, I take back what I said.

I kinda like them french fried pertaters. As delicious as chomping on the thighbone of Jeffrey Dahmer whilst listening to Julie Andrews singing “Truly Scrumptious.”

Sounds pretty neat. I watched a special on T.V. about the most unusual McDonalds. This should definitely be one of them!