The ‘Entity Formerly Known as the British Empire’ Has Some Advice for an America in Decline
Travel Blog • Michael Yessis • 09.28.09 | 12:31 PM ET
More McSweeney’s hilarity from World Hum contributor Kate Hahn. Here’s one bit of advice for the U.S. from the former British Empire, delivered from a bar on the Costa del Sol:
Look, I’ve been there. Coffers empty. Troops everywhere. Economy sour. Your empire’s finished. But just because I’m retired doesn’t mean I can’t be useful. Here’s how you get through it.
First off: lean on your family. And by that I don’t mean the hearth-and-home sort, I mean royals. Make the office of the president of the United States more regal. Pomp and circumstance distracts you from the fact that you don’t matter anymore. Have guards stand outside the White House gates in some kind of regalia. Celebrate the president’s birthday—not just the dead ones, the one you have now. What’s his ... Bomama ... Obama, yes, yes, the Kenyan.
Ah, Kenya. Mine once. Moment for Kenya.
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Michael Yessis is the cofounder and coeditor of World Hum.
