Love in Bangladesh: Wooed by a Policewoman

Travel Blog  •  Michael Yessis  •  05.01.06 | 12:21 PM ET

Most of the women in Bangladesh, a socially-conservative country with an 80 percent Muslim population, only stared at Evan Ratliff during his three weeks there. Shilpa was different. “Shilpa was the first and only Bangladeshi woman who ever flirted with me,” writes Evan Ratliff in a terrific Modern Love piece in the Sunday Styles section of the New York Times. Shilpa, a policewoman working during a general strike, asks for his phone number, beginning a series of calls and semi-secret meetings that Ratliff describes in heartbreaking detail.

We said pretend goodbyes, and I caught a taxi to the overpass, waiting until she arrived by rickshaw. She beamed at her plan’s success. We were alone at last. Another taxi ride took us to a small amusement park, where I bought us some chocolate ice cream bars. We watched the kids and took turns translating the objects around us, laughing. She scribbled something in my notebook.

Soon it was time for her to get back, and we got up to leave. On the way out I convinced her to have our picture taken. Handing my camera to a passerby, we stood together, smiling. But when I tried to put my arm around her, she shrieked and leapt away. I realized that in all of our meetings, we had never actually touched, not even a handshake. Our mysterious passion cut an innocent path through the thickets of miscommunication.

The piece is also available as a podcast.

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3 Comments for Love in Bangladesh: Wooed by a Policewoman

krishnapakhkha 05.02.06 | 10:44 AM ET

It is wrong to make apparent conservatism in Bangladesh synonymous with religion, mainly Islam. If you want to call our way of life a bit conservative, it is because of the thousands of years of social heritage and culture - which is true for religious/non-religious Bangladeshis alike. Have you ever met other religious groups in Bangladesh before making a generalisation?

The author was surprised to find only one woman flirting with him and it was referred to as “something to do” with being in Bangladesh - why would he assume that he is ‘one of a kind’ and girls should flock around him!

Qamar Zaman 05.06.06 | 4:13 AM ET

You must be proud of the fact that, you got the true love of a Bangladeshi Lady. Bangladesh, being the part of Indian Sub-continent is different in showing love irrespective of religion. If you put in arm around her for a picture, she would feel shy to show that to others.

Mikey Leung 07.15.07 | 1:53 PM ET

I think it’s a fair comment to say that the culture is conservative, when seen through bideshi lenses. However, I do disagree that it is incorrect to be linked to Islam, but it most certainly is influenced by it!

Nonetheless the story was sweet, opportunistic and not altogether unusual against the Bangladesh backdrop. I’d like to hear more cross-cultural interactions—-bideshi having relationships with locals actually seems to be more common on the women with men side than vice versa, based on what I’ve heard!

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